This is Their Story. . .

TORDA'S SPRING 2023 TEACHING SITE

This is Their Story. . .

9/30/2016

INSTRUCTIONS FOR OUR ONLINE CLASS: We are not meeting as a class on Monday, 3 October 2016. PLEASE NOTE: You still need to go to your meeting with Tristen or your book club if that is your regularly scheduled day to meet.

Instead of holding class, you need to post to this site. You post by clicking on the "comment" button. The comment button can be found at the top right or at the bottom of this post.

WHAT TO POST: Based on the information you've gotten so far from your alumni interview, what is the THESIS of their story so far. Identify write down three facts that SUPPORT that thesis. You MUST POST by 5:00 on Monday, 3 October 2016.

REPLY TO THREE POSTS: Read your classmates posts. Reply by clicking on the "reply" button to their post. Respond by telling them if you think that the facts they've included PROVE the thesis they say it proves. If it doesn't, tell them what thesis you think it could prove instead. Also, tell them what information or story you'd be interested in hearing more about. BE HELPFUL NOT CONGRATULATORY. If the thesis sort of sucks--tell your classmate, but nicely. Help them write a better paper.

66 Comments

Kyle

10/3/2016 09:39:33 am

I have yet to receive an email from my alumni responding to the questions i asked him. I emailed him on friday and im still waiting for a response.

Noah

10/3/2016 09:54:56 am

That's no excuse buddy. Shame on you

Kyle

10/3/2016 09:59:03 am

That don't count boy.

Noah

10/3/2016 10:03:23 am

What doesn't count the fact you didn't show up to book club or that your thesis isn't done.

Lia Cipolla

10/4/2016 03:18:04 am

Same thing happened with my alumni. Haven't heard anything yet.

10/4/2016 07:11:04 am

Kyle--

Can you forward the email you sent to your person? I don't think you cced me on that. I think that it's reasonable to imagine that your alums might not be emailing you over the weekend. I'm sure they'll be in touch.

Noah Duarte

10/3/2016 09:53:28 am

To William Candler a successful life is a happy life and that is what he found. Will found his happiness in the eighth grade when he did the musical “Anything Goes”. He loved being part of a group that was fun and accepting of him. Once he transitioned into to college he started off as a double major in Psychology and Sociology. It wasn’t right to him though and it didn’t make him happy so he switched to a Theater/ English major. After switching to the majors he became extremely involved at BSU and did a lot of theater. Will also became the president and co-founder of multiple clubs. Once he graduated he became more involved in the theater world and featured in off-Broadway shows. In addition, he directed numerous works in school, community theaters, and Bridgewater’s Family Performing Arts Center.

Kyle

10/3/2016 10:04:01 am

Will seems like a outgoing guy you should take some tips. Also you could have ended it a little better. You could have mentioned more about what he presently does in life. If he didn't change his major in college where would he be now?

Noah

10/3/2016 10:06:03 am

Thanks buddy maybe we can discuss this through email.

Sami Schmall

10/3/2016 11:07:24 am

This is well said and has interesting detail. I agree with Kyle, maybe say something about what where he wouldve ended up or what he wouldve done instead if he didnt switch his major.

Kevin Daniels

10/3/2016 01:22:14 pm

Nice job Noah. You have lots of detail. I agree with Kyle by just ending it a little better.

Mykal

10/3/2016 01:44:36 pm

Will is a very smart man for changing his major because not only did it change his life in tremendous ways, it also seems like he absolutely loves his life if I must say. Although Noah a little more info on what his current life status would be helpful. Thanks homie

Joanly

10/3/2016 02:02:04 pm

This is well written. I like how you includes some background information while keeping it simple and factual.

Lia Cipolla

10/4/2016 03:20:14 am

From this short excerpt I can already tell your alumni is an outgoing person. If I were you, I would focus on how he had the guts to completely change is double major! It definitely shows what kind of person he is.

10/4/2016 07:14:51 am

I think that Mykal and Lia have it right. There is a connection between his idea of success--which is to be happy in his life--and connecting that to the decision to quite majors that seem to look more "safe" and pick majors that, I think, might be hard to explain to a parent. If you could follow up with Will, I'd ask him if that was an easy call to make--if there were any repercussions that were sort of tough to deal with when he first made them. I think that people are being tough on you for wanting more on what he is doing now. I think that you have that information and can talk more about it in the actual paper. You'd want to connect what he is doing now to this idea you've got going on about how he connects success to happiness.

Sami Schmall

10/3/2016 11:05:30 am

I asked Courtney Curran, a 2002 BSU graduate and now alumni to define success. She responded with "love what you do so it doesnt feel like work, or making a major impacts on people lives." From when she was little Courtney wanted to become a teacher like her mother. This lead her to studying Elementary Education with a minor in english. While in college, back home her sister became ill and had to get major sugery, Being at school and away from her sister was very tough, but her parents kept her updated and wanted her to focus on her school work. This eventually got her a job as a 5th and 6th grade teacher at Weymouth public schools. With this being said, Courtney stuggled throughout school with english and still pursed a degree, followed in her mother footsteps to be a successful teacher, and works hard no matter what goes on around her.

Kyle

10/3/2016 11:45:41 am

I like how you asked her to define success that was a good move. I like this a lot you mentioned her struggles and that showed even with them she was able to accomplish many things. Good job.

Kevin Daniels

10/3/2016 01:18:53 pm

Nice job Sami. I think that just a little more detail would do the trick to support your thesis. But other than that, nice job

Mykal

10/3/2016 01:29:33 pm

This is pretty good Sami and I think it contains some pretty good info. I like how you told us who her inspiration was and about all the struggles she went through. I also like that you told us about her current life as well.

Joanly

10/3/2016 01:54:57 pm

This is very well written. I like how you started off by including a quote from her, forming an idea of who she is as a person.

Meghan McGrath

10/3/2016 02:59:26 pm

Really nice job Sami. I love her response to defining success. I think you should talk more about what her life is like now. Talk more about her teaching job, this way you will have more supporting detail for your thesis!

noah

10/4/2016 02:06:08 am

Great job Sami! Your thesis includes a lot of facts about your alumni. What I think you should do is elaborate more on why her mother made her want to be a teacher.

Lia Cipolla

10/4/2016 03:22:14 am

I like how you started it off by using her quote! You seem to have a very good idea of her background and how she felt about certain things in her life. Great start!

10/4/2016 07:52:04 am

Sami I think that what is both potentially good and potentially tough about what you have there is that you've got two definitions of success. Fist you have love what you do so it doesn't feel like work and then you have do something that makes a major impact on someone's life. I worry that in a paper these two theses could split your paper in two and give you two lumps and not one complete whole. So I think you need to think about how you can bring those two ideas together. Is there a way to suggest that in Courtney's life that making a difference makes her work not feel like work? Can you look at her professional life and her personal life (her relationship to her sister and her sister's illness) work as evidence of this combined thesis? Could you ask her about how those two definitions work together? Perhaps there is something about what her future plans are that might help you make this point? It looks like you've got a good start here and material to work with, you just want to make sure your thesis is cohesive for your paper's organizations sake.

Andrew Silvestro

10/4/2016 10:21:49 pm

Sami, this is a great thesis because it will give you many topics to write about. Also it is a great idea how you did not only talk about her strengths but also exposed her weaknesses.

Cam Anderson

10/2/2017 05:17:53 pm

good stuff kyle, love the set up

Cam Anderson

10/2/2017 05:18:41 pm

I like how you asked her to define success, thought that was good

Kyle

10/3/2016 11:40:43 am

My alumni is Joseph Cutrufo. Joe graduated in 2005 as a english major/communication studies minor but deciding that major took some time. During his time at Bridgewater he was an orientation leader, played African drum ensemble, joined the ultimate frisbee team, and was an editor on "The Comment" so Joe was very involved in the community. He didn’t pick his major until about the end of sophomore year. He felt becoming a journalist was what he wanted to do but only realizing after graduation he was not going to go do that. Him and his family moved to North Carolina because its cheaper than living in Boston but only a few years later he moved back to Boston to start graduate school with his wife who is also a BSU alumni taking the same urban planning program at Tufts University. "I found my niche in transportation policy" said Joe. After working there for a few years he moved to NYC in 2012. He is currently living there with his wife and 2 year old son and are expecting another child in February. Now Joe is a communications director at a small Manhattan-based organization called the Tri-State Transportation Campaign. The goal with this organization is basically to get people to drive less to find other easy safer ways to get to places. He gets to testify before the city council and speaks on panels which he says he loves doing. Getting to where Joe is now was not easy as you can see he moved a lot and had to come out of his comfort zone the majority of the time but he says if he didn’t he probably would not be the successful family man he is today.

Sami Schmall

10/3/2016 11:55:47 am

I like it a lot how you set it up kinda step by step of what his life has consisted of. And also you talked about some obstacles he encountered such as moving back and fourth from places. Nice job

Elton

10/3/2016 12:16:53 pm

This is good kyle i like how you give every information about your alum. Like becoming an orientation leader. I think you did good keep it up.

Mykal

10/3/2016 12:58:40 pm

Job well done Kyle. I like how you tried to fit as much info in your thesis and have it all linked somehow and also how you made it clear that if he didn't step out of his comfort zone a few times along his life journey then he wouldn't be the successful man he is today.

Kevin Daniels

10/3/2016 01:14:11 pm

Very nice job Kyle. I liked how you gave us a lot of information to read about. I think with the information you have, you can definitely support your thesis.

Joanly

10/3/2016 01:59:13 pm

You did a good job including a lot of information about your alumni. Yet, you should focus on the main idea of your thesis rather than including fact by fact detail. You know what your want to talk about and that's a good start.

10/4/2016 07:57:32 am

I want to make sure to comment on the fact that you really helped Kyle more than other folks. You didn't just say it was good. You gave him a real suggestion that will help him write a better paper. Good job.

Meghan McGrath

10/3/2016 02:54:20 pm

Nice job Kyle, you definitely have enough information to support your thesis. I like the set up as well.

Noah

10/4/2016 02:18:48 am

Unfortunately, I have to say your thesis was well written. I liked how organized it was. However, your sentences are to long my friend. I feel like I have to take a couple breaths when reading one sentence.

10/4/2016 07:56:49 am

I've got to say, Joanly is right about this. YOu've got a lot if information here, but you don't have a thesis. There is nothing there that would bring the whole thing together. When I look at what you've got here, there is something about moving out of his comfort zone. You say at the very end he talks about the difficulty of moving around a lot. And you could say Joe moved around a lot both literally and figuratively. He didn't pick a major until late. He thought he was going to do one profession (journalism) but then he ends up doing urban planning? How does that happen. Then he moves three times and decides that transportation is what he loves to do? And then he's got this line about his comfort zone. Can you develop a thesis that is both about how success comes from not always doing the easy thing or the safest, fastest, most obvious thing? I think your thesis is somewhere there.

Elton

10/3/2016 12:25:47 pm

I did not get an email back from my alumni. And that is my fault because i took to long to send him the email.

Kevin Daniels

10/3/2016 01:08:12 pm

I sent out my email to my alumni and I haven't received any information yet

Joanly

10/3/2016 01:52:13 pm

Although many people are forced to be independent at a young age, Keyrn Cordo didn't fully understand the value of work until she was forced to. She was determined to improve in all aspects of her life from her education, to family, yet most of all, herself as a person. Keryn grew up in Whitman Massachusetts with her mother, father and sister. She lived a fairly lavish life style due to her fathers income and attended Endicott college. During her sophomore year, her parents divorced and she was forced to move back home in order to save money. She then transferred to BSU and took 5 classes while working about 30-40 hours a week. Although this was a change of lifestyle for Keryn, she learned to become more Independent and worked hard to become the great women she is today.

Sami Schmall

10/3/2016 02:07:38 pm

This is very well said Joanly. I like how spread out and explained most of her life. Maybe a little more detail would help. Nice job!

Kyle

10/3/2016 02:07:46 pm

Great start but could use some more detail about her other years in college aswell. Where is she now? What kind of job is she doing currently? What major did she take up in both colleges? Those are some great questions you could answer and use in there!

Kevin Daniels

10/3/2016 02:30:54 pm

Nice job Joanly. I do agree with Kyle. Ask more questions. I think if you get more information then you will be able to support your thesis

Meghan McGrath

10/3/2016 02:50:40 pm

Great start Joanly, but I agree with Kyle. Get into more detail on what her life is like now. Does she have a job today, and just talk more about her major and why she picked it.

Noah

10/4/2016 02:24:26 am

I felt like you could've given more information about your alumni. I don't know what major she is or what she does today. Include the stuff your going to write about in your thesis.

10/4/2016 08:00:26 am

Jointly you actually cced me on the replies of your alum so I know that you have more detail that you can talk about when it comes to writing the paper. But what you have here is a strong thesis for you to organize your paper. Keryn learned to appreciate things only after life forced her to do it. I wonder if Keryn would be willing to share with you any stories that would help to prove this idea. She gave you the one about having to race around to get credits to count. And she talked a little about what her life was life before. I wonder if there are any stories of her being tired or broke or both while in college. I wonder if she ever wanted to give up. These are things you might follow up with her about. You are on a good path. Keep going.

Andrew Silvestro

10/4/2016 10:35:19 pm

Joanly, this is very well written. I like the fact that the sentences flow together. I also like that the information that you gave will give the reader a good idea on what you will be writing about.

Meghan McGrath

10/3/2016 02:46:02 pm

My alumni is Ashley Sherrick. Ashley grew up in Middleboro, MA, less than 20 miles from BSU, but lived on campus, so the distance seemed more than it was. Her major at BSU was Business Administration with a concentration in Marketing and she also minored in Public Relations. Ashley graduated in May 2011 as the first class at BSU, they changed to University status her senior year. Ashley had a very difficult time finding a job in her career path since there were so many people out of work. She started out in the insurance industry handling Auto and Home Claims and although it was a miserable job out of college, it showed her exactly what she didn’t want to do for the rest of her life. Today, Ashley uses her degree in Marketing everyday now as she makes a living. It took her a couple years to get into exactly what she wanted to do, but now is an Assistant Product Marketing Manager at Symmons Industries in Braintree, MA. Ashley believes everyone goes through different sizes of obstacles and depending on the person, the results may vary. Ashley defines success as knowing that you as a person are doing the most and best you can in each situation that your cards are dealt with. She believes integrity and success go hand in hand. And at this point in her life and career, she does feel successful.

10/4/2016 08:06:42 am

I think that, much like with Kyle, you've got a lot of information here, but that you don't have a cohesive thesis that will help you bring all of this together. There are a few points in Ashley's story (I know because you wisely cced me on the email) that I think you could focus on. First, the part about quitting a job that paid because she hated it and going back and taking an UNPAID internship to set her on a path to where she wanted to be. Was that an easy decision for her? How did she decide to do that? Did she have to make any sacrifices for that? The second thing has to do with her love of travel. She talks a lot about it in her answers to you. And, actually, she talks about deciding to go to Ireland in her Freshman year--even though she'd never been out of the country before. And so this seems to open up a whole new world of possibility for her. Perhaps ask her about that--about making the decision to just risk this big move to travel. I think there might be something there--something about a willingness to risk in order to get what you want. It seems to me a case could be made that Ashley is willing to risk things in order to find happiness--from little things about always being up to go try something to big things like traveling a lot and quitting a paying job. I think that if you can figure out what Ashley's information is telling you, and figure out what questions you might follow up with, you'll have a strong paper here.

Lia Cipolla

10/4/2016 03:17:18 am

My Alumni has yet to email me back. The information I do have on her though is that she was a psychology major and her name is Yvonne Estabrooks.

Kevin Daniels

10/4/2016 10:00:00 am

Nice job Meghan. You got a lot of information. I do agree that you might need some more information just to get a thesis but afterwards with the information you gave us, you can connect it to the thesis.

Felicite Mbaimaki link

10/4/2016 07:58:27 pm

My Alumni Allison defined a successful life as feeling happy,making others feeling like she have made a positive impact on the world even in some tiny way.

Andrew Silvestro

10/4/2016 10:24:05 pm

This is a great start for your thesis, but I think it would be beneficial to add a little more details about your alumni.

Mykal

10/6/2016 10:43:46 am

My alumni is Joseph Moloney and I asked him to tell me what his defintion of success was and he went on to say that success is the ability to live your life the way you want to, comfortably. At a young age Joe started to realize just how harsh and cruel the reality of an adult life really is all by just watching his parents magically provide for them on a postal worker and janitor's salary. Despite facing numerous obstacles during his life and being told that he wasn't college material, Joe later proved all of his haters wrong by attending BSU and graduating in 2011 with a degree in Criminal Justice and then he went on to receive a M.S in Criminal Justice in 2012 from grad school. Joe said taking Criminal Justice has changed his life, because it helped him find that his passion for helping people and holding people accountable, could be very useful in his field. Since he has graduated from grad school in 2012, Joe has worked a number of other jobs before recently being appointed as an U.S Probation Officer in March of 2015, and now he works for the Federal Court in the District of Maine, Bangor Field Office. At this point in his life Joe is married to his best friend and they've relocated to Maine, and now he's just looking to achieve professional goals within his field. He believes that he certainly has a lot left to do, but that it will come with more time in his position and thats also why he believes that he's fulfilled one of his life goal; which is not having to worry about money when he wants to buy a new pair of shoes or ordering a pizza on a Friday night( and of course his also helped greatly).

Mykal

10/6/2016 01:08:49 pm

Wife*

Brendan Legend Bienvenu

10/26/2016 07:21:54 am

Professor Torda assigned my partner for the Big Talk assignment because I reminded her of Marino Fernandes. Whether based off our personalities or something deeper, I do not think either of us expected me to have related with Marino in as many areas as I did. His determined attitude has allowed him to over-come the many obstacles he has faced in his life. From living in three countries, working tirelessly to pay for school, and struggling with academics, Marino has overcome many obstacles that have been thrown his way. He considers himself to still be on the journey to success, but the journey thus far would be meaningless to him without having to recover from failure. The road he has traveled influences the work today and his story is one that has influenced me to continue pushing forward in college.

Sara Walker

10/2/2017 08:58:55 am

Libby Hawes Dever currently in her tenth yer of teaching English language arts to eighth graders at Wareham Middle School, she has gone through a lot in her life. Most of her support comes from her family, through the hard times of her life, she was recently diagnosed with connective tissue disorder. Libby also informed me with something that we both share. Libby has a fake but new daughter in her life, in my situation I have a fake new sister Kayla. Just like Lauren, Kayla has flipped my world upside down and inside out, throughout the past four years she made me realize that we should all be grateful for everything in life; two supportive parents, confidence and the ability to push yourself to reach your individual mountain.

Lamont

10/3/2017 02:46:17 pm

Your thesis seems to be very clear and states that even when you're undergoing a struggle you have to find the strength to push through to reach your "individual mountain."

Cam Anderson

10/2/2017 05:17:00 pm

I have yet to receive an email from my alumni

Sara Walker

10/3/2017 06:10:46 pm

well...

Mimi Phan

10/2/2017 10:29:50 pm

She danced since she was three years old. She grew up in the shadows of her older sister. She majored in English and went through a change in her major during her Junior year. She was in a sorority at BSU called Gamma Phi Beta and she was an orientation leader while also balancing a job on campus and getting involved in internships. Her name is Stephanie Starbard and she is an Alumni at BSU. She has studied abroad in Ireland for a semester and within a short amount of time, she made the decision to live there! Starbard told me, "If there is anything that I have learned throughout hard times is that you have two options when faced with an obstacle; you can sit there, cry and complain or you can actually do something to get over it". She has dealt with not only being in the dark against her sister, but she currently does administrative work that she does not want to do forever. With her tough phases in life, she finds success in her pride towards herself.

Lamont

10/3/2017 02:47:14 pm

Thesis is kind of clear. After hard work comes success.

Sara Walker

10/3/2017 06:11:54 pm

I wish I continued with dance but every time the curtain opened I would sit on the stage and cry....

Lamont

10/3/2017 02:43:21 pm

Sallee has had a fairly interesting life and has gone through a lot. After emailing her for a while I found out that she was an Art Education major just as I am. I also found out that she had a Lamont her second year teaching at Bronx Leadership Academy II High School. She enjoyed her time at BSU and says that Lee Today was one of her favorite professors. As I have said before she hasn't had an easy life. In 2012, Sallee and her family lost their home to Hurricane Sandy which was tough for her because she was in grad school. Eventually her family had the house rebuilt which was expensive. I asked Sallee what her definition of success was and she defined simply as happiness. She went on to say that you should do something that you love as a career because when you work it shouldn't feel like work. Today, Sallee enjoys being an art teacher in Bronx New York and hopes to attend Master Worlds No-Gi Jin Jitsu tournament in December to be able to shoot his matches!

Sara Walker

10/3/2017 06:13:11 pm

wow, that's why I want to be a teacher!!

Shay Sullivan

10/3/2017 06:59:40 pm

Thesis: You have to live life you can't be stuck doing one boring thing your whole life, you have to get out into the world and explore new things, and new places.

Michael "You are here for a good time but not a long time" you need to be able to realize that thing and life are short and you have to be able to enjoy the things well they are around you. Michael talks about how you should find something you are passionate about and put all your focus and pursue it. He talks about how going into school he was all worried about the loans and being in debt after school is over but he's says you will work it out and its not as bad as people think.

This is Their Story. . .

Leave a Reply.

Torda's 101E

Archives

Categories