Final Project Abstract
Good Talk with you today. Not everyone had an abstract and the folks that did got an earful from me--both about what goes into an abstract and how it relates to actually writing something from it.
A few things to know, in general, about abstracts:
1. Abstracts are written in present tense--like you write about literature, it's always happening at that moment.
2. The first sentence or two identifies what your argument is--it's a hypothesis, sure, because this is the start of project not the end of it, but you say it like you know your argument is right.
3. You need to include a sentence or two about why you think this is true--this could be a place to bring in a quote or two from an outside source--it's like saying, I believe X and one of the reasons I believe X is because these other very smart people think something similar to X.
4. You need to include a sentence or two about methodology--this you should be able to do in your sleep at this point.
5. You conclude with a sentence about significance--why is this research valuable in the world. Now, I know, you aren't curing cancer, but you want to convey why we should care about what you are telling us.
A few things to think about as it relates to your final project:
Instructions for Posting & Responding. Once you've worked through the feedback: I gave you during our meeting on Monday, post your finalized (for now) abstract. Once everyone has posted, please read your colleague's post and reply to more than one of your colleagues with one piece of constructive feedback--it could be a question about their argument or how they intend to prove it. It could be a question of clarification (In our conferences I often asked what a writer meant by a word or phrase--clarity and precision are vital in an abstract).
11/23/2020 03:12:29 pm
Interest in video games is at an all time high, and the industry is experiencing unprecedented success. After seeing a 9.3% increase in revenue from 2019, the gaming industry is currently estimated to be worth $159.3 billion, and is projected to eclipse a value of $200 billion in the year 2023. This study is designed to test the hypothesis that high levels of interactivity are responsible for the immense popularity of video games.
11/24/2020 02:53:41 pm
Hey Derek! I really liked how you talked about what your study argues about the research conducted. I felt like this was worded very strongly, and I also felt like your research methods were strong as well. One comment I would have about your abstract is that I had to read a few of the sentences over a few times in order to understand what you were saying because they were so formally stated. One of these sentences was where you say "Additionally, players cite..." I also felt al little confused reading the second paragraph, but I think that relates to the fact that we are reading these without reading what comes after them, so it all sounds a little odd. Maybe that's just me, otherwise I really liked how you are framing your research!
11/24/2020 02:44:21 pm
Preliminary data supports the claim that female gamers are often mistreated in certain gaming communities as well as misrepresented by the gaming industry as a whole. Many of the male gamers involved in the data collection have not experienced the types of toxic behavior that leads to the mistreatment of women, or have managed to avoid communities where this behavior is common, however they are aware that these types of environments exist in the gaming world. On the other hand, female interviewees had much to say on the topic and, regardless of whether they’d toxic experiences themselves, they were cognizant that female gamers did encounter mistreatment. While it is obvious that mistreatment of female gamers is present in the gaming world, it is unclear why this inequality has occurred. I hypothesize that this mistreatment of women is due to the foundation of the gaming industry being composed primarily of males, and there is little representation of women holding positions of power in the gaming industry. This would lead to misrepresentation of females in games, and further to the mistreatment of women amongst video game communities. I believe this to be true because of the common knowledge that men hold the power in the video gaming industry, and that multiple sources are cited to say that women are represented poorly, one article saying that “even in games where female characters are not explicitly sexualized the subtext is there” (Junge). Using ethnographic methods, this project will attempt to prove the hypothesis and draw conclusions about the preliminary data. As gaming communities become more and more populated with female gamers, it is important to understand the mistreatment of female gamers in an attempt to create a more supportive environment for all.
11/25/2020 08:17:00 am
I think your opening sentence is strong and it clearly states what the problem that your study plans to address. I also think your last sentence does a good job of establishing contextual significance, and helps the reader to understand the overall purpose of the study. One thing I may suggest is to add a description of what "mistreatment" you are specifically talking about, because it is possible that someone may have a different understanding of that term than you. I think the same logic can be applied to the usage of the word "misunderstanding." We do not necessarily know what types of misrepresentations you are talking about, and defining these terms as you have come to understand them will help the reader to get a clearer understanding of your argument.
11/30/2020 09:08:10 am
Hi Amanda! I think your topic is a really important one in regards to equality (not that it should have to be considered "feminism" to ask that women be treated with common decency, but I digress, ha). Something I'd expand on in your paper is how the representation of female characters in games plays a role in this issue, too, the "misrepresentation of females in games" as you mentioned. It's always a myriad of detailed and unique male characters and one or two insanely skinny, pale, big-boobed women who are weaker than the men. Girls need to be treated better on and off screen. I love your topic, keep going strong with it like you've already started to :)
11/28/2020 11:19:12 am
11/30/2020 07:21:08 am
I think the premise is strong and it will be interesting to learn about the experiences of recreational participants. One thing I noticed is that you did not mention exactly where you plan to get your information, and it may be helpful to include a sentence about who you interviewed or researched. Additionally, I think it may be beneficial to provide a brief definition for the word conformation, especially since it is used in the very first sentence. Within the context of dog shows, most people may not know what that word means, and explaining it will help the audience understand the rest of the abstract. I think what you are arguing is clear and you have properly outlined your reasoning and how you plan to support your hypothesis.
11/30/2020 08:58:12 am
Hey Sasha, this is an interesting route to take your project. Focusing on the costs of a dog show is something most people might not think about when thinking about dog shows- at least I didn't. It must be a super expensive hobby to upkeep, not even just the show fees as you mentioned but also the costs to keep your dog groomed, trained, all the equipment, transportation, etc. It would be interesting to see a breakdown of how much one show costs your participants, or even how much has been spent through all their years of showing. I also like how you address the inherent classism in the industry. I never thought I'd read about social issues and dog showing in the same paper, so I'm very intrigued. Good job here :)
11/30/2020 08:52:32 am
Society’s grievances with media are nothing new- first, it was the TV that would rot your brain, now the deafening argument that video games stroke the violent urges of teenagers who need only the slightest encouragement to act on them. But what if they do the opposite? Through research and an interview study, this paper intends to theorize that video games are actually an outlet for emotional coping, and a positive, engaging way to use one’s energy. It’s almost inevitable to feel angry at a game’s obstacles once you’re invested enough in trying to complete it, and the relief comes right away once the task is finally passed, thus proving itself as a source of self-affirmation, a way to rile up and then blow off pent up steam. Additionally, turning to video games to relax and take one’s mind off something bigger is a common coping practice among adolescents. Giving young people an outlet to pour their emotions into reduces the likelihood of an outburst of those otherwise untouched emotions, the type of outburst that we so often worry will end in violence. Rather than blame technology for society’s violence problem, it would be a benefit to take a closer look and examine why gaming is actually a positive thing that should not be discouraged as heavily as many try to.
12/18/2020 07:45:54 pm
1. The subject of classical studies gives prospective students a great background on Greek and Roman life from many years ago. It can tell students what these group of people believed in but also why it matters to this day in 2020. Yet interest in Classical Studies is at an all-time low. Only top schools in the country offered bachelors in classics. In other words, you won’t be able to major in classics if you attend a small liberal arts school. But as interest in Classics dwindles down, so does interest in the humanities subjects. There’s got to be more to it then just student body for why the learnings of Odysseus’s great journey aren’t worth majoring in. Through this research project of finding of why Classics subjects are shrinking, I plan on interviewing BSU professors Dr. Kalish and Dr. Skoble. As well as researching Classical Studies and the Humanities through databases to provide me information to find out more about the fall of Classics as a subject in academia today.
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