My apologies for not posting this sooner. So, hopefully you've taken the time to POST A TENTATIVE THESIS to Monday's discussion board and given FEEDBACK to the people in your book club.
Your next job is to REVISE YOUR THESIS, post it, and post ONE PARAGRAPH that proves ONE PART of your thesis. This is about organization. Your thesis should organize your paper. That means that different paragraphs prove different parts of your paper. And the order those paragraphs appear in should follow your thesis.
Remember from the Monday assignment, our fake thesis: "Jane Alumna started out thinking she was going to be a nurse because her mother was a nurse, and her sister was a nurse, and her aunt was a nurse, but after a very influential set of experiences in her sophomore year, Jane decided that she didn't want to be a nurse, she wanted to fly around the world and take a lot of people with her."
So the after your introductory paragraph, your next paragraph should be about how she thought she was going to be a nurse. If I look at this as a writer, I don't think that this will take more than one paragraph. Here is a sample:
All Jane's early life, the only job she thought a girl could do was be a nurse. It's easy to see why. Jane's mom was a nurse on the pediatric floor of Mass General. "One of my earliest, strongest memories was of my mother coming home very, very late from one of her shifts. She'd smell like the hospital--which I hated--and she would come in to my room to check on me. I thought that her scrubs were just what girls wore to work because my sister, who is much older than I am, and my aunt, who was also a nurse always seemed to be wearing scrubs." And Jane's mom loved her job. She would come home with stories of helping new mothers. Her sister and Aunt loved their jobs too. "My Aunt worked in a nursing home and she would tell me stories about her patient's lives. I know now how hard that work can be, but you could never tell from listening to her. And my sister too--she is also a pediatric nurse like my mother--and she talked about each new baby like it was the first time she'd seen one." Jane liked hearing these stories, and when she was little she often played nurse. And, more than that, she really didn't know what else there was to do for a job if you were a woman. So when it came time to pick a college, she started at Salem State because they had a good nursing program--the same one her sister went to. She thought her path in life was set, but little did she know what the future had in store for her.
So I want you to notice two things. First, notice how that paragraph is ONLY about one thing--how she thought she was going to be a nurse because she grew up around nurses who loved their jobs. Also, notice that this is the FIRST thing the thesis says and the FIRST paragraph in my made up paper. That's how your paper should go too.
Some folks have already posted a revised thesis and a paragraph. Good for you. I'll try to respond to each of you individually over the next few days.
Keep at it guys. Your papers are developing nicely. Nice work to those of you who went to book club and to Meg. Shame on those of you who haven't.