Workshop feedback: Anna

TORDA'S FALL 2025 TEACHING SITE

Workshop feedback: Anna

12/10/2025

Anna

12/10/2025 01:58:58 pm

Something I think is strong about this piece is that I have a clear purpose with what I am trying to create (a change to research methods courses to include intersectionality). I am not really comfortable tinkering too much with the format (slides and notes) but I would love feedback on the organization of slides, notes on language and its fit for my audience, as well as the persuasive elements of the material. I am unsure if the pieces are convincing enough or where to add more evidence/how to expand on my thoughts on teaching intersectionality, so I would love feedback on that! Thank you all!

https://studentbridgew-my.sharepoint.com/:w:/g/personal/adykhoff_student_bridgew_edu/IQBQUgVFiP8TT7DbglTnSub-AddVfwdh4N4AXyVpD39xDlo?e=tgXuwm

https://www.canva.com/design/DAG6yIwJuOs/NJANLcUkc96awPTKspl_DQ/edit?utm_content=DAG6yIwJuOs&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=sharebutton

Paul Sweeney

12/10/2025 02:24:35 pm

Admittedly this is out of my wheelhouse so my feedback is going to be somewhat limited, but I will say that I think the point you raise with this presentation is very important. Intersectionality is so often overlooked in a lot of facets of society, so bringng it to the attention of BSU for psychology makes a lot of sense. I appreciate the example you use about homelessness in the US and how those statistics from a place like Hawaii might be left out. I think it exemplfies what you mean and the importance of this project.

I know you said you would prefer not to change the format of the presentation itself very much, but I do think that the colors could use some slight adjusting. Neutral colors are fine, of course, but they might be a bit too neutral. Usually for a presentation like this, having one color that contrasts the rest helps draw the reader's eye, and maybe that could be applied to the text in some way, like a box behind it or the actual text color. Even something like making the text darker could help considering how similar it is to the background.

Alexandra O'Brien

12/10/2025 02:49:27 pm

1) You do an excellent job of showing why intersectionality is so important, and I think your starting points for why this proposal matters are valid and well-stated. I was going to mention in terms of persuasive elements, maybe get some statements from real faculty on this matter! What are thoughts from already teaching professors and people who share in these interests... For BSU to see that people are invested in this change, it may help with the convincing aspect of it. This would also help this proposal feel community-centered and more personal to those who are being shown it - you will immediately get them interested by showing you went to these more "personal" lengths to support your commitment to this.

2) Nothing dragged for me, but for slide 4 on the current state - maybe find some other people or sources that show you are not alone in this. And if there aren't any, mention that! Point out how the change has to start somewhere.

3) You address your audience well, using proper language and professionalism. I felt that everything was clear and relevant for the genre of writing, and that once organized into a PowerPoint in a more concise manner, it would present even more clearly and well.

12/10/2025 03:42:49 pm

Anna a lot of work went into this project and it shows. I want to be respectful of what kind of feedback you want. So I'm locating my feedback there. First, I did have a question. When you answer it for yourself it will I think influence any revision you make. Is this for faculty or for students? Both? That's important. Your faculty will know what intersectionality is. Some students won't. Faculty teach these courses but students may not have. So I think that might influence what you say, how you say it, and where in piece you field them.

Order: I would start with your experience. That speaks across both faculty and students. I also think, and perhaps you do say this,but I'm not seeing it. I'm rushing. YOu shoujld say where you had exposure to intersectionality and why it had such an impact on you. I don't htink you need to add slides. I think you can say it. But I think you need to say in slide two. Start with your story. I would then move slide four to the third position and slide three to the fourth position--so swap.

In terms of trying to matcjh the slides to your notes, I don't entirely understand the difference. between slides five and six. Is one an overview and the other one is where you get specific? I know you don't want to include more slides, but, looking at your notes for six, that is a long time to be on one slide. I would appreciate a slide or two here just to break up the visual. Could you include some prompt slides? Or a slide per example? If this is really going to be a presentation, you want to think about how the visual works for you in it. Here it really seems like the talking has overwhelmed the images. So that would be my one add there.

Ashley

12/10/2025 03:03:06 pm

Your purpose and content are really strong here, and I can see your vision so clearly! You do an excellent job targeting the specific change you’d like to see across the psychology department and employ the perfect statistics, research, and personal experiences to show exactly why this is so important.

I made notes of this in your documents as well, but I think the information to include on slides 5 and 6 could be spread across multiple slides—potentially one for each of your three points. I think visually, having all of the relevant information for one particular topic in a single slide could be beneficial for viewers to not feel overwhelmed or disengaged with the strong content you’re presenting. Your examples for each aspect of your proposal are so strong too, and they might feel better suited to visually sit with the aspect of your proposal they represent.

I can’t say I’ve consumed many presentations in this genre before, but from what I know, you’re definitely on the right track! You do an excellent job balancing being engaging and professional, and the content you’re discussing makes me, at least, want to hear what you have to say and seriously consider making the changes. You are off to a great start and I can’t wait to see what’s next for this project!

I.S.

12/10/2025 03:29:29 pm

I love the idea for this presentation! The use of statistics and personal experience is very effective in being persuasive. The only suggestion I might have is maybe adding another, but brief, example of things not being applicable cross-culturally. I like the one about Hawaii that you include. I thought about perspectives on mental illness and disability as well, however. Different cultures can react to and label these things very differently, often not aligning with Western ideologies. I also agree with Paul that having colors that pop a bit more might be beneficial on the slideshow. I found my eyes just kind of glossing over the slides and not really focusing on the text itself. Overall, this is concise, well written, organized, and persuasive. Good luck on your presentation! I can already tell you’re going to do great.

Glen Beaulieu

12/10/2025 03:35:40 pm

Hi Anna!

This is a super strong presentation, Anna, and, frankly, with the current state of our country, I think we need to fight even harder for change. I think you do a fantastic job identifying the lack of intersectionality in BSU's psych curriculum and demonstrating why it is so important that changes.

I'm sorry in advance that my critiques for your presentation will be limited, as I'm not very well-versed in this stuff. I think this is an extremely effective, well-researched and well-written presentation, so I really have no notes in that area. I do agree with Ashley's point about spreading out the information on slides 5 and 6 will make your presentation flow a bit better, you know? I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help, but you've done some seriously great work here.

Nina

12/10/2025 03:43:32 pm

Anna, this presentation is fantastic! It is clear that you did a lot of research as well as self-reflecting of your own experiences as a psych student here at BSU. I think incorporating both of these concepts is strong to your argument, as you are presenting both first-hand experience as well as research. I also enjoyed the examples of lessons that can be integrated into the psych course, and with time, hopefully more examples and experiences can be incorporated as well! In terms of knowing the audience, I think you are on the right track with the format. This is clearly a piece that is meant to be presented to the psychology department, specifically BSU’s psychology department. If you end up presenting this, please let us know. I am rooting for you and your fantastic presentation! I also like the neutral colors. Very professional and the presentation is well done!

Workshop feedback: Anna

Leave a Reply.

Torda and the 489s

Archives

Categories