Workshop feedback: Alexandra

TORDA'S FALL 2025 TEACHING SITE

Workshop feedback: Alexandra

12/10/2025

Alexandra O'Brien

12/10/2025 02:05:39 pm

So there are two parts to my final - the first is my resume and the second is my teaching statement.

For the resume, I realized I did not have a solid one, let alone an academic one, for after I graduate. I wanted to create an academic resume, but after thorough research, I realized I was missing a lot of the information needed to create one. I then set my goal to create a resume that includes a few hints about my academic standing and experience. I am decently happy with the layout. I feel it's straightforward, visually appealing, and easy to navigate. But any feedback and wording things more professionally, or rearranging sections - anything that feels off to you, please let me know. Also, keep in mind this is a resume which I will submit for jobs based in teaching, writing, media, or communications.
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In terms of my teaching statement, it can be challenging to write a philosophy on teaching when you are not a teacher yet. So my goal here was to establish my commitment to teaching in the future and to show that I have an in-depth understanding of the methods and practices that will be focused on in the classroom with my students. I am really in love with the personal aspect of the introduction - it shows why I have this deep love for learning. I recently wrote my ending paragraph, so it is the one I am most uncertain about. Any comments on that would be great. And suggestions on the order of paragraphs would be helpful as well - some points may make more sense to come before others. And anything that you feel is talked about too much or NOT enough would be good to mention - teaching statements need to be clear and direct, they can be decently long but you want to get your point across about the kind of teacher you are without dragging it on longer than needed.

Thanks!

Paul Sweeney

12/10/2025 02:40:27 pm

Overall both halves are pretty stellar. Your resume is comprehensive while not being bloated, and the way it's formatted with the tasteful use of color helps make it more eye catching without making it distracting or unprofessional. I'm impressed by the breadth of it, too. I know my own resume isn't nearly as decorated as yours already is.

I would probably get rid of the first page entirely, the cover page. If you're using this as a resume, the information you have at the top of the second page communicates your name far more efficiently without dedicating so much space to the title.

As for your teacher's statement, I think it's also very compelling. The anecdote you use at the beginning is very effective at establishing your history with the love of knowledge and why you believe it's so important to bestow it unto others. I think overall the statement is very well done. I might condense the first and last paragraphs a bit if at all possible, but otherwise it is both professional and passionate, which I find quite convincing.

Anna

12/10/2025 02:44:48 pm

1) What do you like, what is working for you as a reader, where are there places you'd read more if it was appropriate? Why is this so great?
Hi Alexandra! I want to start by saying your teaching statement so clearly shows passion, and it is so very refreshing to see someone care so much about education in a day where education is undervalued and often overlooked. I can tell that you have a love not only for teaching but for being taught, seen through the example you give at the beginning of your statement.
2) Where is it dragging for you as a reader? Or not making sense? Or just not working? Why and what could the writer do to fix it?
I think that for your teacher's statement, the second half of the piece could be shifted slightly more into your goals/ideas for education or even an example of a teaching experience you've had, even if it wasn't in a work environment. Everyone has taught someone something, and if you can conjure up a time that shows your skills, it would really benefit this piece. I always think of additional documentation as a way to bring in things that maybe weren't from a job but are still worth noting. Even if you don't do that, just shifting a little from how teachers have impacted you to how you hope to impact students at the end could aid in "selling yourself" as a teaching candidate.
3) Consider the genre, audience, and purpose that the writer is producing this text for. Does it work given those considerations? If you were to position this among other examples of the genre, does it seem to fit? Why, why not, and what could the writer do about it?
For your resume, I would suggest creating a "relevant academic experience" section or including descriptions of a few of your favorite/strongest courses in your related coursework section so that instead of a list of classes, we have a list of concrete, marketable skills that you've taken from each course. It's something that has helped me a lot as someone who is looking for jobs in something that I haven't worked in professionally before. As far as genre and audience for the teaching statement, while I don't know much about this genre I know that teachers would absolutely vouch for the ideas and philosophies you are presenting, so fantastic work on nailing those on the head!

12/10/2025 03:07:25 pm

Alex I can't edit in the document, so a few things:

HIgher education not Higher academia.
I would drop the high school stuff
Definitely drop the Pell Grant thing. That's financial aid
Include dates for awards.

I like that you include relevant coursework. I would consider including perhaps some projects completed in those classes. Ones that were really meaty.

I thikn your work as a data analyst is the most relevant work experience you have. I out put the work you are doing as a server into an other work experience section. You can include other jobs you've had there. I know the timeline is off, but I still think you want people to sthe the data analys job before the blueberry muffin job.

As I said to Nina, you are looking for a wring job, which is in it's own way creative, so looking at creative formats might be useful . Drexel university has a nice collection of sample resumes for folks in creative professions: https://drexel.edu/scdc/professional-resources/application-materials/resumes/creative-resume

I am always in a quandry about skills sections. Anyone can say anything. If you can speak other languages or know very specific software, coding, etc,, those are things you should include. I am not a huge fan of things like patience and empathy on a resume and I feel like who doesn't know social media or how to use zoom at this point? I am really not sure about this, but I speak as someone looking at a resume.

One other thing I'm going back and forth about. I'm not a super fan of objectives. Essentially, everyone's objective is to get a job. And, even more complicated for you, your objective is one that you would not use a resume to get. So you are essentially saying I want a job in a field so that eventually I can quit it and go back to school to teach. So I would consider cutting it.

Some feedback on your philosophy. I must admit I think it is too long. Too long, particularly for someone who hasn't been teaching yet. So I would challenge you to cut this in half. I think the opening is compelling. I"m going back on forth on how personal it is. It's really brave and it really gets at what your thesis is--that education makes clear to us what was unclear and makes our lives better and richer in myriad ways. I think you'd have to gauge how receptive a potential future audience would be to your opening story. So something to consider.

Finally, as I said, I think this should be shorter and the quickest way to make it shorter is to really hit hard on your thesis and be less comprehensive about methods. Methods are for a different document all together. You might even consider having it as a separate document that tells people how you would do what say education should do--make clear the unclear.

One thing I like about the opening is how poetic it feels and I lean towards a philosophy that feels more essayistic than job letter-y. But that might just be me. So a philosophy that was more philosophy and list methods would be appealing to me. I love that you mention Freire at the end, and would encourage you not to shy away from name dropping in the piece to identify theorists and philosophers that influence how you think about education.

Glen Beaulieu

12/10/2025 02:47:17 pm

Hi Alexandra!

First, I think your resume is excellent! I think your wording is great and very professional. I also love the layout! I do not have a lot of notes on this for you, so the main bulk of my feedback will be for your teaching statement.

First, and I mentioned this for your midterm as well, I really admire how willing you are to be honest and vulnerable in your writing. I think that makes this teaching statement extremely impactful. I think starting with your emotional connection to learning and teaching is super strong here. I also appreciate you mentioning specific influential figures like Donald Murray and Paulo Freire in this. For your final paragraph, I thought it was certainly good, but I wonder if it is necessary to exist on its own? I feel as if you touched upon what you wrote in your other paragraphs, so I wonder if it may flow better to incorporate these ideas into the rest of your paragraphs? I think incorporating how other teachers have affected you into how you intend to affect your own students.

Overall, this is great work!

I.S.

12/10/2025 03:04:35 pm

I agree with you that the layout is straightforward, visually appealing, and easy to navigate. I love how organized and clear it is! Your writing style is lovely, giving the teaching philosophy section a nice flow that’s engaging and intriguing. I’m not familiar at all with having to do this sort of writing. So, I don’t have much to critique except this one tiny part: “I want to welcome creative thinking through freewriting during class on various subjects, and even keeping a journal to practice routine. The routine of writing and critical thinking. The routine of writing about what you learn and the connections you make with things both in and outside of the classroom.” I think there could be a way to tie these three sentences together in order to make them more concise, or to possibly cut it down to two sentences if possible. However, as I said, I’m not familiar with this type of writing so there might be a purpose to this that I’m not catching onto. Otherwise, the order of the paragraphs and structure is great as is and is very effective.

Nina

12/10/2025 03:14:55 pm

This is one of those drafts that you look at and think “wow, this person knows what they are doing.” But seriously! I think you chose a fantastic focus for this project and it is clear the path you are taking. Nothing was dragging, I think you have a very strong and thoughtful teaching philosophy and it is clear to see that you are passionate about what you do. With that, there isn’t much I would change besides proofreading and copyediting prior to your final draft. Ultimately, the ideas behind the teaching philosophy are fantastic as they are. As for the resume, my one suggestion would be to revisit the formatting. I think if you can get everything onto one page (with the exception of the references, I think those are fine to get onto a second page) then you are golden. I also think you capture everything you need to for the resume, so your main focus should be on the formatting of it. Overall, I think that this is an extremely strong draft that is extremely close to completion. I’ll reiterate that your teaching philosophy is fantastic and written beautifully, and it is clear to see from your resume that you are successful and on a great track. I’m excited for you and your future endeavors that you will use this material for!

Ashley

12/10/2025 03:40:30 pm

I just want to shout out the genuine passion that oozes through all you’ve done here! It can be so frustrating as a student to have a teacher or professor who doesn’t seem to care about the material they are teaching or their students’ progress, and I can absolutely tell this will not be you. You also have such a strong voice that shines through everything you’ve done here, which I think will be super compelling to potential employers—they get to know the real you in writing before they even get to meet you, and that to me is beautiful. I can’t say I know too much about the grad school or teaching position application process, but I do know the qualities that make a good teacher or professor, and you most definitely possess and show these.

I do think condensing some areas of both your resume and teaching philosophy could be beneficial. I wonder if you could omit the objective and soft skills from your resume to make it a bit more fine-tuned to the jobs you’re in search of. Though this is a professional project, you show your capacity for empathy and human-oriented skills in your teaching philosophy, so it might be better to let that speak for itself. Similarly, while your teaching philosophy is so vulnerable and impactful, I’m wondering if you could speak to any teaching experience you have had, whether it be in the classroom or workplace, to show how you implement these skills when working with others. That could be really impactful as evidence of sorts to prove why these scholars are so important to you and how you’ve implemented their techniques as a teacher. I also think you could fine-tune the classes you’re choosing as relevant—maybe cut the list a bit and emphasize any projects or presentations you did in these classes that are relevant to what you want to do as a teacher? You’re off to a great start though, and I can’t wait to see where this project takes you!

Workshop feedback: Alexandra

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