Midterm: Rethink/Revise reflection

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Midterm: Rethink/Revise reflection

10/31/2025

From the Midterm Portfolio explanation:

Include with this piece an overview--500 words--that explains to me what you did to revise the piece, how you think it affected the piece (good or bad), and where, if anywhere, you'd like to see the piece go from here (and I mean that both literally, like getting it published, and figuratively, as in what work you'd still like to do on it).

6 Comments

I.S.

11/1/2025 06:38:51 am

To revise the piece, I wrote an additional ten pages that take place before the part from my original draft and I fixed some writing choices. I wrote scenes depicting my main character’s relationship with her friend, her parents, and her siblings. To enhance the world building, I mentioned things such as heirlooms, the currency used (i.e., umbras), and other people within the village that weren’t necessarily important, but helped the world to feel more real. I also tried to show the wealth disparity in the village, which is also reflected in the main character who is poor and her friend who is more well off. In order to show the relationship between my main character and her siblings, I tried to establish her caretaker role to them and the negligence of her parents. For example, she’s the one making dinner while her parents are barely there. When they are there, they are disruptive and causing chaos. However, I had the main character’s youngest sibling show affection towards the parents when they arrived home to communicate her naivety and lack of experience with them due to her age.

In the part from my original draft, I changed some of the vocabulary used and the sentence structure to make it flow better. Some scenes needed editing as well. I tried to make the encounter with the raider more realistic. Instead of my protagonist just knocking him over, she also throws ash in his eyes to catch him off guard. After she woke up the next morning after the raid, I made her more panicked and angry. I thought she might’ve been too passive in the original for the sort of personality I’ve shown her to have. The flashback scene of her arguing with her parents is completely removed because the scenes prior to the raid replace the flashback’s function within the narrative. I added more descriptions to the scene when she takes a bath to connect the external world to her emotions to make it more dynamic. Lastly, I changed her reaction to her siblings dying. Similar to when she woke up after the raid, I thought her reaction wasn’t intense enough given the circumstances.

The changes made to the piece had an overall positive effect. The story needed a lot more development and characterization, which I think I accomplished well within the time frame we had to work on this assignment. I think it increased the emotional impact of the ending by showing how important my protagonist’s siblings were to her.

I’d like to see this piece get published as a short story at some point. Although I’m happier with how it is now versus how it was originally, I think there’s still some things to work on. For instance, the pacing might be slightly off. I struggle with figuring out the pacing of my stories, especially right after finishing them. I’m worried that the part where the main conflict takes place and the ending might not be long enough. It takes up about five pages out of a fifteen page piece. I also want to improve my writing style more and continue to edit the story. After it’s published as a short story, I’m considering developing it into a longer piece.

Anna

11/1/2025 12:10:30 pm

Rethink/Revise Reflection
To revise my original essay from the Foundations of Logic and Reasoning course, I decided to turn the base of the paper into an article that could be seen in psychology publications such as Psychology Today or Simply Psychology. To do this, I first thought about what exactly I wanted the article to focus on. The original essay was a critique, but I would have to go beyond critique into something informative and engaging. I ended up deciding to focus on the benefits and drawbacks of responsibility without blame approach, as well as the nature of progress in addiction treatment models. I did some research first, looking into the formatting and language used in Psychology Today pieces to try to ensure that my writing would match the tone of these publications. Next, I read through Pickard’s original article again three more times to try to make sure I understood the ideas clearly and could portray them accurately to her intentions. I also did some light research into Pickard herself and her background. As I gathered this information, I began brainstorming the flow of the article to create clear structure for the piece. At first, I wrote the article in a Word document, but I wanted to play around a little more with formatting, so I transitioned to Canva to allow me more flexibility with visual aspects. Once my formatting was complete and I was happy with structure, I had a couple friends read over the article to see if it would be clear and understandable for people without a psychology or philosophy background, then made edits based on those comments. One of my favorite parts of Psychology Today articles is that they are accessible to anyone and clear enough where you do not need to have a psychology background to find them engaging, so I wanted my piece to have those same attributes.
One way I think my revision positively impacted my piece was that I was able to put my arguments from the essay into context. Essays are a type of writing that exist for one purpose really – to get a grade. There is learning that happens along the way of course, but the actual piece of writing sits in a void after receiving a grade. Turning this piece into an article was a great way for me to feel like the writing could actually be useful. I feel more inspired to actually use the piece as a jumping off point for future programming or training in addiction treatment facilities, meaning that the writing could turn into something much bigger than just a grade. Although I feel more inspired after revising my work, one way revision may have negatively affected the piece is my confidence in the writing. I felt very comfortable with the format of the original piece, and I think that it shows when reading it. However, writing a news article felt completely new to me. I felt so badly like I wanted to slip into traditional formatting for an essay that I feel like some sentences switch in and out of different tones, which makes the piece feel weaker overall. Despite editing after feedback from friends, I still don’t feel close to 100% confident in this piece. I have come to understand that just like I have had years of practice with writing essays, it may take me years of practice to get comfortable with other styles of writing.
From here, I would like to see my article turn into something bigger. I am thinking of showing it to one of my professors that has worked in addiction research to see if she thinks that there is potential for a research project designed around the role of responsibility in family and friends of those struggling with addiction and maybe moving that research into recommendations for programming in addiction treatment. As far as the article itself is concerned, I am definitely interested in playing around with this style of writing and seeing if the article can be expanded to a general analysis of addiction treatment models rather than focusing on Hannah Pickard’s work, which I would have more faith in trying to publish in Psychology Today. I looked up the qualifications for submissions, and to submit they say you have to be a “clinician, scientist, mental health expert, or writer,” so I think that there is potential for me to publish, especially if I can get one of my professors to co-write with me.

Alexandra O'Brien

11/1/2025 01:44:55 pm

For my Rethink and Revise assignment, I decided to take a closer look at a free-write I had done a while back. It is something I wrote about my father, which I hoped to work into something even larger. Once the more extended version is completed, it will end up in a book, with reflections from other people in my life and, more specifically, my family.

When I first submitted this for my classmates to help me revise, there were many comments on grammatical errors that I made sure to go through and consider in my revisions. That was the first baby step in making this story better. What came next was rearranging how I told the events of the story. I had to move some
things around so the reader doesn’t have to work as hard to figure out what is going on or WHERE you are in the story. So, instead of opening with a poetic reflection about my dad, the story now begins on my birthday, with my dad giving me a tree, and then the story of wanting to see my old tree.

Before it began with a poetic reflection about my Dad, which readers didn't have enough information about for me to include so early in the story, this sets the reader up for being less emotionally invested in these poetic details. But - once the story builds, and I have a deep reflection about my father following that, it feels more cohesive and real. Other than that I added in some more poetic
elements, and some more details to show and not tell my story in certain areas. I really loved the little bits that I put in, it makes me excited to add to it further.

Overall, I really love this piece of writing, and I
hope to continue adding to it and really dive into all
the complex parts of my story with my father. I have a
bad habit of writing about how I feel about people NOW,
after everything THEN, and I avoid writing about the
specifics that led me to think and feel those things. I
need to begin confronting those events and dive into
the raw interactions and moments in my life that made
all of these emotional and deep feelings about my
father come about. I also plan to have more dialogue
and conversations in this story to make it engaging.

Glen Beaulieu

11/3/2025 02:35:59 am

For my revision, I wanted to go into a much more personal direction. When you asked me about why I cared about this, and who I thought my audience should be, it took me a while to really come up with answers to those questions. My audience being smart people who are interested in the subject felt like a good answer to the latter question, but trying to explain why I cared so much about this idea proved to be incredibly challenging for me. While thinking about it, I began to feel like a bit of a hypocrite, because, on one hand, much of the media I consume and enjoy surrounds war and violence, yet, on the other hand, I find myself quite bothered at the portrayal of war in film—hence why I chose to focus on war films for this revision. It’s always a hero story, about sacrifice sure, but just of named heroes. I kept thinking about this quote, “The only heroes in war are the dead.” These films idolize individual heroes who have done something extraordinary, all while ignoring the heroism and sacrifice of ordinary soldiers and civilians. I wanted to explore that whole idea of the annihilation of the individual by the mass by making this piece more about me, the individual. I think by doing this, my piece is much more interesting to read, but I also think that the lack of concrete details and information leaves it wanting. I was initially going to cite some sources and talk specifically about certain movies, like the film Zero Dark Thirty and its portrayal of the CIA’s enhanced interrogation program, but doing so suddenly felt too impersonal. Because of that, I opted to keep this purely personal, for better or worse. Truth be told, I think I need to spend more time thinking and writing about this, because I feel like, even though I like this attempt more than my original document (this piece feels so much more like “me”), the ideas and opinions in this piece are still underdeveloped, and I’m still not happy with how this turned out. I’d like to find a way to talk about specific events and specific movies that doesn’t feel like such a tonal shift, if that makes sense. I’d also be a bit more bold in my willingness to be blunt and to bear my opinions on my sleeve. As far as what I want to do with it, I’m not entirely sure yet. I don’t know if I have the courage to publish something like this, especially with the political climate today and how people often mistake criticism like this for criticizing soldiers as a whole. Recently I’ve gotten into writing little film reviews on Letterboxd, and, while I was formulating this revision, I was wondering how exactly I would write a review for some of these war films. I don’t want to just abandon this, however, as this stuff really, really interests me, and I love writing about it. I see a lot of room for different approaches.

Ashley Luise

11/3/2025 06:32:51 pm

I reimagined my narrative as a creative nonfiction piece that follows my, my Mom, and my Grammie’s baking and cooking processes for our family Christmas. To do this, I organized the sentiments in my original narrative as scenes in a timeline that more specifically expand and explore this tradition using detail, dialogue, and a more personal voice. The story follows my Mom and I through our holiday baking the two days before Christmas, and shows how even though it is not the commonly understood magical Christmas Eve, it is still our ideal one. Then, the piece explores what a Christmas celebration at my Grammie’s looks like and how that is her dream Christmas, even if it isn’t others’. Food is simply the backdrop where I spend time with my mom, grandmother, and extended family; I emphasize the people around the food, whether that be the women in my family or my extended family, being the most important part of our Christmas tradition. Thinking about more minor revisions for greater impact and enjoyability for readers, I inserted the reader into my world by removing the “my” before I name characters; the use of just “Mom” or “Grammie” better connects and involves readers in each moment and character relationship. In general, reshaping this piece made it stronger because the final product feels more intentional rather than just something written for a grade. The revision still emphasizes just how personal and special my tradition is for me and the women in my family, but it does so in a way that is genuinely enjoyable for everybody to engage with—something I thought was a major shortcoming in my original narrative.

I am still unsure of my future plans for this piece, but I am really excited to at least share it with my mom and grandmother. While I am not closing the door to publication later down the road, I would be content if that never happened as well. Ultimately, this piece is important to me because I was able to document a tradition that means so much to my family, and being able to share this story with the people who are involved in it, regardless of who else my audience becomes, is the most rewarding part. I do think I want to revisit this piece after our next Christmas celebration though, as I think the story could benefit from more specific, real details. While the slight content inaccuracies are probably not noticeable to readers outside of my family, I want to include more specific moments and dialogue to help the story feel less clunky and fabricated and more heavily rooted in a real experience. For instance, while I don’t believe any outside readers would flag the dialogue as inherently off, I notice it a bit; after Christmas, I would like to write more accurate dialogue for my own sake. Ultimately though, I still believe I created a stronger version of a passion project I have been wanting to pursue for years, and I am most grateful for that regardless of where else this story goes in the future.

Nina

11/3/2025 10:32:00 pm

Completing the Rethink/Revise project for our Midterm Portfolio was certainly a process, but I overall enjoy the end result. Going into the assignment, I knew I wanted to choose a piece that I could transform from my first year of college into a piece of writing that reflects the kind of writing that I do now and will be doing in the future for my career. During my workshop day, I got a lot of feedback encouraging me to explore a way to incorporate more of my own voice and passion into the piece, especially given the fact that I am a huge fan of the movie and could talk about it for hours. With all of this in mind, I knew I wanted to do something where I can talk about my own knowledge of the film, but more specifically the main characters: the March sisters. A part of my studies outside of English includes digital media, and I have been practicing different forms of writing for digital media, hence my inspiration to create a piece that could almost read like a Buzzfeed article: “What Does Your Favorite March Sister Say About You?” Here, I was able to give my personal insight to the film and its characters, analyzing them in a way that would be engaging for readers as they learn more about how their preferences reflect who they are as a person.

I personally think transitioning to this style of writing has improved the piece, at least to reflect the kind of writer that I am today. I feel like I had the opportunity to better discuss my understanding of the characters in the film, rather than my original (and poorly written) essay that only focused on analyzing the character’s clothing. If I were to alter the piece, I would definitely revisit the character list and look into discussing more characters from the film, such as Marmee or Laurie. This sort of piece is definitely one that is audience driven, as the main purpose is to help readers engage with the text while they determine whether or not they resonate with the characteristics discussed for each character. It makes people think about their observations of the movie, as well as observe and do some self-introspection on their own values and behaviors.

Considering myself as a writer at this point, I think I have definitely come to the conclusion that I want people to engage and interact with my writing. I want to spark conversations and leave readers asking questions. I know that professional writing is not always exciting, but what if I can explore the different ways it can be exciting? This piece has definitely inspired me to continue creating content for an active audience whose interests align with my own (I will never stop saying this, but writing about your interests makes writing all the better). I hope I can continue writing in this style, and perhaps I can look into creating similar content for my final portfolio project for this class!

Midterm: Rethink/Revise reflection

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