Fun with Commas

And not just commas! Take one or two sentences from your revise/rethink. Take it through as many iterations as you can a la what I did with I shot the sheriff. Once you've posted your sentences. Indicate what you are trying to express and identify the sentence you think does that the best. Finally, read the sentences of your colleagues. Do you agree with their choice? Is there a different sentence from their buffet of sentences you think works better? Is there a way you don't see there that you think could work better? Post your response to each of your colleagues.